Flesh, Feathers, and Fairy Dusts

Amongst all the words in the planet

I think "practical" is the last word that describes me

Practicality is needed in this world in order to survive

It is effective

It is rational

It gives a sense of safety

But I don't want safety 

I don't want "normal life" that everyone around me is chasing so relentlessly

I don't want the rest of my life stuck in an office cubicle after spending years of my life stuck inside the bricks of school, again forced to do things I don't have interest in

I don't want enormous paycheck by doing some meaningless job

I don't want marriage that ends up in separate beds some time down the road

I want a passionate life

I want a sense of wonder that overflows in everything I touch, everything I do

I want internal peace

and serene, healthy environment for me and people around me to grow

I want to read, and think, and finally do things that I want to do

I want to live by my own standards and stand up defending my values

Million times I have been told that I have impossible standards

That I'll never make it in the world with a mind like this

That it's simply not how society and the world function

That I need a certain set of 'practical' skills to survive

And what I think and discover will always matter less than what I'm able to do,

especially if it doesn't produce money

I am so tired of people telling me to be more grounded

Learning practical skills is important-yes, but so is thinking outside the box, being real, inspiring, and full of empathy in a world this numb

I am so tired of people telling me to pursue "realistic" goal

That there are so many ways someone like me can make a whole lot of money

But here's what I want:

I want to study human mind.

I want to be a voluntary doctor, healing those who are sick and lost in wars, or in places that don't have proper healthcare.

I won't have anything else outside those two

I won't bend my dreams, my passion, for wealth and stable life

Please do understand that things I want are different than yours

Because I would rather be alone with contentment than being with the wrong person

Because I would rather die with sparks in my heart than live with emptiness inside me

Because the life I want is spiritual, meaningful, deep, and free 

That refusing to drive, refusing to date, refusing to bow down to the norms are a liberty of mine that should not be judged.