Your Cave

What is your choice of self-destruction?
Running until you're collapsed — numb limbs, gasping for breath, struggling to keep a bit of air in your lungs?

Burning your insides with countless packs, waiting till the day it gets you?
Going out to dangerous places alone at night, feeling high and impulsive,
Or is it driving at 100 on highway, your body getting lighter as you float with the wind — for the sole feeling of freedom, of spontaneity, of assurance?

Is it eating as much as you can until there's no room anymore for pain, until you're this close to exploding?

Is it avoiding sunlight, locking yourself in with LCD screen exposure 24/7?
Is it sleeping until you can't take it anymore—looking emptily as the clock ticks by, or is it painting all night for the 3rd time in a row?

Is it staying out late as far from home as possible — drinks in hand, crowds to drown your thoughts?

Is it scratching your skin, sinking your nails deep inside your flesh to move the thoughts away even for just a few seconds?
Is it taking shower with ice cold water, scrubbing away those cells for hours until your whole body is red, irritated, and swollen?

Is it laxatives, is it pills, is it bleach?
Is it dangerous hike and dive in some foreign country?
Is it working for 18 hours a day to avoid some thoughts?

So bare with me,

What is your choice of self-destruction?