To Bloom and To Wither

“But darling, why so gloomy? You got a gift very few have – you can be alone in the dark and never feel lost. You can be your own friend in any roads you take throughout life. You know great people carved their path that way. You got your own back. I would kill to have that.”

She stopped for a while, fixing her glare at a space of nothing, “Things like that come with a price. You crave connections, but it’s hard to create bonds with people. And it’s killing me because I’m afraid that life will pass, leaving me alone and unloved – and I don't say it out of dramatization or insecurity, it comes from self observation and genuine worry about being too independent. You have an ocean of empathy and feeling, but unable to express them to anyone and it’s slicing and inflating my inside at the same time, leaving me hollow as I grow older. My race is with time. My kryptonite is holding back. I don’t need anyone to light the match and guide me – I can do that on my own. But I want to be understood and validated, I want someone to walk alongside me. And darling, want is a more powerful thing than need.”

“Well, denial is stronger than both.”