1 A.M. Piece of Mind

There. This band said everything I wanna say in 9 words. Because no, I don't wanna date just because everyone does. I don't wanna date because it's what teenagers are 'supposed' to do. I am seventeen, it's a young and reckless age. I can barely take care of myself. You are probably around the same age as I am. It'll be all fun and sweet and cute but in a few months it will get ugly. You will be bored and so will I. I don't want to be tied down and commit to anything yet, I am not one bit ready for that. I'm free-spirited and still searching for myself, trying to express whatever last bit of me I had to the world. We're both insecure and I find comfort in isolation and things on the internet which you won't get, and you find comfort in living your youth with friends and a girlfriend. We will fight because chance is our view will be different and we don't prioritize things the same way. You will think I'm stuck-up and uptight because I won't do anything I don't wanna do. You'll choose 'fun' and eventually leave, and what does that leave me except maybe a broken heart and biting bitterness?
.
And to be honest it's not your fault. It's not anybody's fault because
nobody is wise and mature enough at this age for a serious relationship.

And no, I don't want to 'experience' because I am the one taking care of my heart and soul for years, I'm trying to be the best version of myself I could be. Maybe it's far from there yet, but I'm not letting some boy destroy everything I've done so far.

**

So wait. Pray. It's all that we can do, really. Pray that we'll meet again one day, when the time is right. When we have found ourselves and figured out what the hell it is we're meant to do in this world. When we know enough about human nature and how to function in the real world. When we understand completely how human relationships are formed and how safe bounds are made without restricting and corrupting the other.

Only then we'll sit down and talk,
willing to accept each other for who we are underneath.

Because rushing things won't help, it only poisons. I can't be what you need if I'm seventeen.