A Cup Of Sea

"I said, I prefer the ocean when it's gray. Or not really gray. A pale, in-between color. It reminds me of waiting for something good to happen." -Lauren Oliver 

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July Tag

Wonder

So this holiday I read 6 books. Some of them are great, some are not living up to my expectation. The wonderful ones are A Thousand Splendid Suns and To Kill A Mockingbird, which I highly recommend. Aand I happened to read a children fiction, this book Wonder, and it totally stunned me. I started reading it with a low expectation knowing it's written for children, but at the end I was grateful to have come across this gem. I was really moved by this book. This is the kind of book that makes you wanna change yourself. Be kinder. Spread love. Take time to know people around you. Be a friend.

So this is basically what's going on in the book:
August (Auggie) Pullman was born with a facial deformity that prevented him from going to a mainstream school - until now. He's about to start 5th grade at Beecher Prep, and if you've ever been the new kid then you know how hard that can be. The thing is Auggie's just an ordinary kid, with an extraordinary face. But can he convince his new classmates that he's just like them, despite appearances? 

I really connect and sympathize with everyone in this book, especially Auggie. I thought the multiple alternating view point would be overwhelming, but it succeeded to create three-dimensional characters that felt so human. Palacio can really turn a simple story into a multilayer one. By the end of the book I was sobbing (and smiling). This is one reading experience that I would very like to re-experience again and again. I cannot wait to get my hands on The Julian Chapter (another book from the perspective of Auggie's bully). It has insane rating on goodreads and I really hope it will be as moving as Wonder.

the most thoughtful chapter of the entire book

This is a few passage from Wonder:

“Always be kinder than is necessary. Because it's not enough to be kind. One should be kinder than needed.” 

"Everyone deserves a standing ovation because we all overcometh the world."

“We carry with us, as human beings, not just the capacity to be kind, but the very choice of kindness.” 

“But I really believe, and Daddy really believes, that there are more good people on this earth than bad people, and the good people watch out for each other and take care of each other.” 

This book is my definition of faith in humanity.
Just when the world is turning cruel, deceiving, and monstrous everywhere you look, books like this come and remind your warm little passionate heart that it doesn't have to be cold and numbed from all the injustice, suffering, and violence you see at every turn. There is still hope. There are still numbers of goodhearted people around. And if you can't find one, be one.

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A Tribute to The Best Director Ever

And that means you,
Mr Darren Aronofsky!

A few years ago, his name didn't even ring a bell. My favorite then would be David Fincher or maybe Nolan (talk about all that twists! and suspense! and incredibly sharp mind!).
...And then I stumbled upon Aronofsky on IMDB and found out that two of his films are actually very high on my movie rank (Black Swan, The Wrestler), I can't believe they're from the same director! So I decided to give some of his films a few try and I was hooked. This man is insane. I can't imagine what it's like to be inside of his mind, must've been ten nightmares going on at once. His films are not those blockbuster crowd-magnet box office, it's far from it. His directing style is bizarre, claustrophobic at times, and full of symbolism and metaphors. Rarely he played with CGI and visual effects (except for Noah). Rather, all of his films centered on human minds and the quest of seeking the truth about this universe. They dwelt deep into mental illness, obsession, human nature, delusions, coping with life, searching for the ultimate truth of life and death. His strong point is characterization. Most of his films are told in first-person narrator, so we, for 2 hours, are inside the minds of the characters. There is a lot of ambiguity and subjectivity, because what we see on screen is not a very reliable source itself (we see what the characters see, and mind you some of these characters are in very, very unhealthy state of mind). His films are usually open to interpretation (unlike Hollywood style which spoonfed you and leaves nothing to imagination). If your favorite movies include fast-paced action like Fast and Furious or tearjerking rom-com like Nicholas Spark's, stay clear. Aronofsky might not be your cup of tea. But if like to challenge your mind, if you're interested in seeing through the lenses of unstable characters, if you crave intensity and depth, you're in for a treat!

He had his high and low. Even though I think Noah and The Fountain are mediocre, the rest of his work has scored him levels far above other directors. He's the only director whose movies really get under my skin, my mind, my heart. They scarred me for a long time and the aftertastes are not wearing off after all this time. These films are brutal, powerful, disturbing, and deeply heartbreaking. These are beautiful tragedies made possible by a very talented and observant artist, Darren Aronofsky himself, without sugercoating, without emotional manipulations.

This is my personal favorite order of his work:

Also check these out:

(please play them in full screen for maximum effect)

1 A.M. Piece of Mind

There. This band said everything I wanna say in 9 words. Because no, I don't wanna date just because everyone does. I don't wanna date because it's what teenagers are 'supposed' to do. I am seventeen, it's a young and reckless age. I can barely take care of myself. You are probably around the same age as I am. It'll be all fun and sweet and cute but in a few months it will get ugly. You will be bored and so will I. I don't want to be tied down and commit to anything yet, I am not one bit ready for that. I'm free-spirited and still searching for myself, trying to express whatever last bit of me I had to the world. We're both insecure and I find comfort in isolation and things on the internet which you won't get, and you find comfort in living your youth with friends and a girlfriend. We will fight because chance is our view will be different and we don't prioritize things the same way. You will think I'm stuck-up and uptight because I won't do anything I don't wanna do. You'll choose 'fun' and eventually leave, and what does that leave me except maybe a broken heart and biting bitterness?
.
And to be honest it's not your fault. It's not anybody's fault because
nobody is wise and mature enough at this age for a serious relationship.

And no, I don't want to 'experience' because I am the one taking care of my heart and soul for years, I'm trying to be the best version of myself I could be. Maybe it's far from there yet, but I'm not letting some boy destroy everything I've done so far.

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So wait. Pray. It's all that we can do, really. Pray that we'll meet again one day, when the time is right. When we have found ourselves and figured out what the hell it is we're meant to do in this world. When we know enough about human nature and how to function in the real world. When we understand completely how human relationships are formed and how safe bounds are made without restricting and corrupting the other.

Only then we'll sit down and talk,
willing to accept each other for who we are underneath.

Because rushing things won't help, it only poisons. I can't be what you need if I'm seventeen.